Jimmy Buffett, where every white person in St. Louis was

I am not a Parothead. I will not follow bands around to every city and soap my car. That's just not me. I think seeing the same band once a year is find and dandy. When Shizelly called me a few weeks ago and told me that our friend Smally had an extra ticket, I agreed to go. It's an experience I wanted to see to believe. It was a perfect night for a cheeseburger in paradise. However, I have never seen UMB so packed. It was wall to wall people. I do believe every white person in the StL was present. I tried my harded to not break the seal, but eventfully Smally, madre de Smally, and I had to use the bathroom. To our dismay, the lines were gianormous. So having to go so badly, I followed the Smally clan into the men's bathroom, made my way to the stall, hoovered, and got out as fast as possible. I think we suprised quite a few when the door opened and it was a female looking back at them. Beer lines were equally bad and my dumb ass left my id back at our blanket. UMB has a 2 beer maximum per person....stupid rule really, so we coned some guy to buy the two for me. The pot was a smoking and it was a mellow night, at the concert. I'm with Shizelly, I want to buy a boat.